Our learning goals are to:
-write a description, using powerful words and phrases
-include some Te Reo Māori
-carefully check that our sentences make sense and have correct punctuation and spelling.
The Abandoned hospital
It was a sunny day in the forest. I was running and I wasn’t looking where I was going. Suddenly I tripped over a big grey stone. I looked up. I was a bit hurt after my fall. Standing before me was a tall brick wall. There was Moss growing out of it. I had a feeling that something amazing was on the other side of it.
After an hour or two I reached the top of the wall with bleeding knees and scraped hands. I sat on the top of the wall and looked down. I was hawa /trembling. While I was looking at the ground I Turned Around And there was a huge Hospital. It looked burnt and as if it have Moss all over it. Then there was a damp smell in the air. I looked up at the abandoned hospital. It looked whakamataku / SCARY but I still wanted To investigate.
I put my hands on both sides of the hospital, it creaked and cracked. And then I kicked the door open. I was pakaru/scared. I walked in. There were Hospital Beds everywhere. It looked like whakmaku / SCARY . It had a dirty smell like blood. Suddenly a ghost Nurse appeared. I ran away. She followed me. And then I jumped of the brick wall……..
Hi Olive
ReplyDeleteYou did a great job at this piece of writing. I liked that you made an effort to have some descriptive language in it like, “ Standing before me was a tall brick wall. There was Moss growing out of it. I had a feeling that something amazing was on the other side of it.”
Your next step is to keep working on your punctuation and making sure that your sentences make sense.
You had great ideas in this piece of writing. Well done.